<Loud chattering; deep laughing>
Alright, alright, quiet down. I know it’s exciting. Does everyone have something to drink? Right, ok, let's get started. Well, welcome all to the behind-the-scenes of my Hell, and thank you for your continuous applications and appeals to the Second Chance division. You have all finally been accepted as.. drumroll please Brian... Hellions! Yeah, let’s all give a cheer! This has been a long process for all of you, and for some of you it’s been 100 extra years of paperwork to get here. So, now that you’re here, I can tell you that this process WAS intentional. You know, all part of your previous, um, shadowy after-life. And now that you’re on this side of the River Styx, you’ve joined the team to make every new soul’s afterlife just as infuriating!
<Murmuring and laughing>
Ok, if we flip to the back page of your onboarding booklet, you’ll see a lovely picture of Charlie here, our dastardly Hellraiser Recruitment Manager. Charlie will be your point of contact for any questions or reprimands, and your direct report for these first few years. After that, you’re on your own for 500 years while you serve your way to the Ascension Chair. Anyways, Char, do you want to step up and do your into bit?
<Deep voice talking; pages turning>
Great, thanks Char. So to reinforce what Charlie said last there, think of yourself as an actor with both on stage and off stage roles. We are sitting back stage right now, where we can be ourselves in all our jovial glory. You’ll now have access to more food options, better music, and some semblance of free will back here. You'll be able to indulge a little in your outfits , my personal favourite pastime. But, when you’re on stage, with a million damned souls relying on you to make their every moment a terrible torment, you are now one of the slave driving, impeccably-clad torturers you’ve been working under for thousands of years. We expect your every moment outside these doors in your new realms to be a focus on delivering the cruelest punishments to our, um, deserving guests. Niceties aside though, one wrong move on stage will mean Char here gets my old pitchfork and restarts you as a newly damned soul back in Sulfur City, forever... got it?
<Sounds of eager agreements; low voice question>
Ohhh your titles, ok, no, so we have 1 rule down here about that, D-word. No one is a Demon - that’s derogatory, I don't like it, and it hasn’t been used in a millennia. You know, political correctness is next to Godliness, hah. So before I pass you off to the 7 Sinister Sisters as I call them, remember, you’re a Hellion, minion, Hellraiser, any version of tormentor you like, Legion of Darkness, um, Wrath Wraith, creepers, fiends.. basically anything else that fits your new role that you can take to heart. Ok, I think that’s it for the boring preliminaries, so follow me to shake claws with your new managers and learn all kinds of new tricks!
<Chairs scraping; excited chatter>